A birthday invitation carries the same five facts as any other: whose party, what kind, when, where, and how to reply. What changes wildly is the voice - a seventh birthday and a fortieth are the same information in completely different registers, and the mistake is usually borrowing the wrong one.
The five facts, plus two people forget
- Whose birthday, and which one. The name, and the age if the age is the point.
- What kind of party. Tea, dinner, drinks, soft play, a barbecue. This is what tells a guest what to wear and whether they will be fed.
- Date and start time. With the day of the week.
- Where. The name and the address, not one or the other.
- How to reply, by when.
The two that get left off, and cause the most messages afterwards:
- An end time, for anything involving children. Parents are planning the rest of the day around your party.
- A line about presents, if you have a preference. Not saying anything is a decision too, and it is the one that produces fourteen identical toys.
Children’s parties
It’s a party!
Aurelia is turning 8
Saturday 26 September, 2 - 4.30pm
The Moonlit Glasshouse, 14 Garden Road
Tea, cake and far too much running about
Please let us know by 19 September
Start time and end time, the food situation, and a reply date. Written for the parent reading it, because the parent is the one who has to answer, arrange the lift and decide what to bring.
Drop-off, spelled out
Aurelia is turning 8!
Saturday 26 September, 2 - 4.30pm
The Moonlit Glasshouse, 14 Garden Road
Drop-off party - grown-ups welcome to stay for coffee
Tea provided. Please tell us about any allergies when you reply.
RSVP by 19 September
Milestone birthdays
Forty
Please join us to celebrate
Daniel Reed
Saturday 12 June, from 7.30pm
The Old Brewery, 4 Wharf Street
Dinner and dancing
Kindly reply by 15 May
A milestone can carry a formal register comfortably, because the number is doing the work. The shorter the opening, the more weight it holds - “Forty” alone is stronger than “Please come and celebrate Daniel’s fortieth birthday”.
Surprise party
SURPRISE
It is Daniel’s 40th and he has no idea
Saturday 12 June
Please arrive by 7.30pm - Daniel arrives at 8
The Old Brewery, 4 Wharf Street
Please keep it quiet, and reply to Sarah by 15 May
Two rules. The word SURPRISE goes at the top where it cannot be missed, and the arrival time is stated as a deadline rather than a suggestion. Also name who to reply to, because it cannot be the person whose party it is.
Adult dinners and low-key celebrations
Sarah is having a birthday
and would like you at the table
Friday 3 October, 8pm
Marlow’s, 22 Bridge Street
No presents - your company is the present
Let her know by 26 September
Where there is no milestone to announce, the invitation is doing a social job rather than a ceremonial one, and the wording should sound like the person sending it. Anything that reads like stationery reads wrong.
Asking for no presents
The wording that works is short and offers an alternative, because a bare instruction leaves the guest with nothing to do with the impulse.
- “Your company is the present.”
- “No gifts please - if you would like to do something, we are collecting for the local food bank.”
- “Aurelia has plenty of toys. If you would like to bring something, a book she has not read would be perfect.”
What does not work is a paragraph. The longer the request, the more it sounds like a rule, and the more likely someone is to ignore it out of politeness.
What goes wrong
- No end time on a children’s party. The single most requested missing detail.
- Venue name without an address. A guest cannot navigate to a name.
- No reply-by date. Caterers, party venues and cake orders all have deadlines; “let me know” does not.
- Unclear whether siblings or partners are included. Say the number of seats and the question disappears.
- Nothing about food. “Tea provided” or “dinner at 8” saves a dozen messages.
- A surprise announced halfway down. If it is a surprise, that is the first word.
Sending it
Birthday invitations are the case where digital has least to prove: there is rarely a keepsake argument, the list changes up to the last week, and for a children’s party you are messaging parents who will reply from their phone or not at all.
The practical parts carry over from wedding invitations unchanged - each guest gets their own link, the reply comes back attached to a name, and the number of seats you offered is the number they can confirm. Our birthday catalogue is one design so far, with more being drawn; the rest of the designs are weddings today.
Frequently asked questions
What should a birthday invitation say?
Whose birthday it is, what kind of party, the date and start time, where, and how to reply by when. For a children's party add the end time, because parents are planning the rest of their day around it.
Should we put the age on the invitation?
For a child, almost always - it tells other parents what to expect and what to bring. For an adult, only if the milestone is the point. "Forty" on a fortieth is a celebration; an age on an ordinary birthday is just information nobody asked for.
How do we ask for no presents without sounding ungracious?
Keep it short and give a reason or an alternative. "Your company is the present" works. So does "No gifts please - if you would like to do something, we are collecting for the local food bank." A long explanation draws more attention to it than the request does.
How do we say adults only?
Through the seat count rather than a rule. "We have reserved 2 seats for you" answers it without anyone reading a policy. If you must say it outright, "an evening for grown-ups" is warmer than "no children".
Do we need an end time?
For a children's party, yes - it is the single most useful line on the card, and its absence is the most common complaint parents have. For an adult party it is optional and often better left off.
Is it a surprise party? How do we word that?
Put the word SURPRISE at the top, not buried in the text, and give an arrival time that is clearly earlier than the moment. "Please arrive by 7.30 - Daniel arrives at 8" leaves no room for someone to stroll in at five past.
Related: Wedding invitation wording · RSVP wording · Seats per invitation · Collecting dietary answers · Browse designs